Adelaide’s Cinderella story: A fairway too far
Grand plans to transform the North Adelaide park lands golf course into some kind of Caddyshack Country Club are currently hitting more of the rough than the fairway, writes Mike Smithson.
Chevy Chase, Rodney Dangerfield, Bill Murray and gopher-like characters from the 1980 Hollywood cult golf movie Caddyshack are missing, but others are rapidly taking their places.
Premier Peter Malinauskas is changing the face and texture of the park lands with his blunt one-wood.
With little warning, he’s pushing through dramatic legislation and will almost certainly have the numbers in both houses to get exactly what he wants for his $50 million LIV golf extravaganza.
So, what should we make of an overnight Instagram post from our jet-setting Lord Mayor, who’s trying to shore up COP31 for Adelaide, a global environment mega-drawcard which is also on the Premier’s must-do list?
Dr Jane Lomax-Smith is an ardent supporter of LIV golf, or is she?
Her official site endorses the words of Acting Lord Mayor Phil Martin with the blaring headline quote, “what’s been announced represents 15 to 20 percent of the Park Lands legislated out of council’s care and control.”
Under her official Lord Mayoral Insta-handle, it goes on to say that council has maintained and invested in the North Adelaide Golf Course and the surrounding park lands for more than a century.
“From the outset, the Council supported the State Government’s plans to relocate LIV Golf to North Adelaide,” she says.
“We are committed to working collaboratively and provided all requested information and met every planning deadline set by government.
“However, special legislation announced this week removes our care and control over approximately 15 to 20 per cent of the Park Lands, undermining a significant aspect of the Council’s long-standing role in managing these spaces for all South Australians.”
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That hardly sounds like ongoing and glowing support from one of the most-needed supporters.
Let’s call out the Premier’s actions for what they are.
He’s effectively teed off on the city council, not having the trust or faith in the elected body to deliver what he needs.
“We’ve got an opportunity here to potentially get legislation through the parliament,” Malinauskas told ABC breakfast radio.
“What we’re doing here is investing in the park lands,” he said.
But it also leads to other arguments surrounding the controversial world golf tour which has warmly embraced the City of Churches, which could now also be aptly renamed the City of Party Holes.
One astute InDaily reader has pointed out many observations about LIV golf.
He, along with others, claims the change of legislation bypasses the ACC, fencing, tree destruction and the openness of park land laws.
Questions also surround the Premier’s claims of it becoming one of the best public access courses anywhere in the world.
“So does that mean it will be up there with other public access courses like St Andrews and Pebble Beach?” the reader asks.
“St Andrews (in Scotland) costs 270 British pounds to play a round.
“Pebble Beach (in California) will cost you $675 US per round.”
On that basis, he asks how the average golfer, particularly regulars, be able to afford the inevitable rise in green fees which currently cost around $40 for 18 holes?
But there’s more.
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Why did Greg Norman get the LIV design contract?
We all know he’s publicly and privately very well connected to the tour and our Premier.
I openly declare myself as a big fan of LIV, who’s enjoyed the party hole trappings when it’s been played at Grange Golf Club.
But I’ve personally observed Norman on that infamous party green signalling to Malinauskas in the crowd to pick up his phone as the golfing legend required his immediate attention.
Our reader says that even a rudimentary search would have told anyone that there are many excellent golf course designers with superb reputations for renovating park land courses.
“Certainly, none more so than Norman,” he says.
“But another is South Australia’s own Neil Crafter.
“Why was everyone else overlooked, including Neil?”
That answer seems blindingly obvious to me.
Then the question surrounding the instantaneous government support from two Upper House independents.
SA Best’s Connie Bonaros and former One Nation member Sarah Game were in the hole from day one.
I’ve spoken to both who say they agree with the park lands redevelopment in principle, but they reserve the right to change their minds.
My thought is, and always has been, that it’s much easier for them both to say than do, as pressure from the Premier mounts on their shoulders.
Yes, I would prefer LIV to remain at Grange, where it’s been an outstanding success and one which I would continue to support.
Some club members detest the invasion of beer-swilling visitors onto their hallowed turf and the blaring music and fun that go with it.
I would argue those problems will become even worse on our precious park lands.
And where will the required colossus clubrooms be constructed at North Adelaide?
My money’s on the tennis courts diagonally adjacent to Adelaide Oval on War Memorial Drive or further west, where the Red Ochre Barrel + Grill and River Café permanently closed less than a month ago.
The Premier may be thinking along same lines as Dangerfield’s character in Caddyshack.
Nouveau-riche Al Czervik was impatiently lining up to play a hushed first tee when he eloquently shouted out to the club president – “hey let’s go, while we’re still young!”
Mike Smithson is weekend presenter and political analyst for 7News.
